It’s Been Awhile
It’s been awhile.
No excuse, just that life has taken so many twists and turns, but I’m truly thankful for it all. To still be here, with you guys, doing one of the things that I absolutely love — writing and sharing from my heart.
My family and I are still seeing beautiful miracles and blessings from God, and my time away has been filled with many things that have brought about immense thankfulness and a few deep sighs as well lol. All in all, departing from a season of despair and heartache has yielded a beautiful new season of continual renewal and growth for my family.
I knew when I started writing today’s post that it would be a bit different than some of my others… I knew that I was kind of ready to share more, to go deeper about some things that I’ve faced, overcome, and a little bit of the in-between during my time away.
I periodically receive messages about the impact of this blog, and each time, it brings genuine joy to my heart. I love writing. I journal all the time privately, and love sharing my heart with each of you whenever I feel that little nudge from above. If I’m honest though, when I initially started this blogging thing, I didn't know how it would go, let alone, if I’d even have anyone reading the things I published lol… but here I am, four years later, and so very grateful to God for what the blog has grown to be… not just for myself, but for so many beautiful women. I knew when I first started this blog four years ago that it’d be a safe space for me, but I had no idea how impactful it would be for so many of you, so today I want to say thank you.
Life Lately
I’ve stopped sharing as much as I did in the past, primarily on social media, and there are many layers to my ‘why’ behind doing so, but in saying that, I’ve honestly just always valued the private and quiet life, but also genuinely enjoy sharing and being creative, so there’s always this fine line that I’ve walked between not sharing at all or completely oversharing lol. I’m happy to say though that I think I’ve found my balance. As of lately, I’ve just felt at peace with how and when I choose to share and have loved having the freedom and autonomy to do so without pressure. I also share a bit on Pinterest and TikTok, so if you’re interested in even more faith based and lifestyle content, follow me over on those platforms as well.
On more of a personal note, almost a year ago, I shared with you all that I had reunited with my biological father. That story in and of itself is such a long and emotional story, but if I’m honest, I can’t say that I have any huge or profound updates to share regarding our reunion. Things have not really progressed much with our relationship in the ways that I had hoped, and as of today, I haven’t really had contact with my biological father in several months. On the flip side, I was able to meet my biological sister and grandmother (my dad’s mom) for the first time. My husband and our boys joined me for this introductory meeting, and it was truly such a sweet and special moment… not just for myself, but also for our boys.
As the days and months pass, I’m still learning so much about my story and my past, and if I’m keeping it real, some of those truths are really unsettling. Along with meeting my father, sister and paternal grandmother, I also discovered that I have four more sisters, making it a total of six of us — all girls. The heartbreaking part about this for me is that unfortunately, I believe we all have different moms… and if you know anything about broken homes, and the complexity of feelings, emotions, and lifestyle differences that come along with that… it can be a lot to take in for all parties involved. However, regardless of this truth, I am so thankful for the uncovering of this part of my story.
Acceptance of the things we cannot change…
Through the uncovering of my very own story and pieces of my parents, I’m beginning to learn the importance of not just my story, but also that of my parents and of those who came before me. I’m learning about true forgiveness and grace. I’m learning that my parents are also living this life for the first time, making mistakes just as I have, and doing their very best to overcome the hurdles and hiccups of life and healing the pain that may have come from some of their very own choices. Regardless of the things that I have faced as a child, I am still grateful for my parents — both my mom and step dad for providing me with safety and love, and for raising me into the woman that I am today, and for my biological father who gifted me with a part of himself at conception.
I’m also learning that regardless of my ability to see the good in even some of the most devastating situations, there are still generational patterns both healthy and unhealthy that were passed down and need to be broken i.e. things that I’ve had to battle and fight against as a result of choices made by those who came before me.
If you’re not knowledgeable about generational curses and generational blessings, I encourage you to do a little research.
I could talk for hours about generational blessings and curses, but to save us time today, I will simply say that there are things that each of us struggle with and/or things that we have breakthrough, freedom, healing from and blessing in as a direct result of the behaviors and choices of those within our bloodline.
Some of us are called to be cycle breakers. Some of us are called to break free from the chains of oppression and perpetual sin so that those who are to come after us can fully receive the promises of God.
What generational curse are you called to break in your family? What generational blessings are you responsible for maintaining and upholding?
Generational Curses — Premature death, Sexual Immorality (Fornication, Adultery, Pornography addiction, Babies born out of wedlock, etc.), Poverty, Divorce… the list can go on.
Generational Blessings — Good health, Wisdom passed down through generations, Financial stability, Spiritual gifts, Strong morals and values (kindness, compassion, integrity, honesty, etc.), Supportive and loving family bonds… the list can go on.
Two Short Testimonies
I recently shared a thread of photos on my Instagram account, and one of those photos was a photo of my husband being baptized. This photo was taken by one of our church photographers at the end of last year (Nov. 2023). My husband’s testimony and life story is an entire book in and of itself, but I will leave it to him to one day share. His story is full of so many ups, downs, twist, turns, good, bad, and downright horrible events and choices, but it’s truly a powerful story. One that shows God’s redemptive love and one that will bring you to tears. His story… his journey… has so much power and I know without a shadow of a doubt that it will be so impactful for so many young men coming after him. God has truly blessed this man with such a deep redemption story that I hope He can one day have the opportunity to share with so many others all for the Glory of God.
Another beautiful testimony comes on behalf of my mother-in-law who recently endured a massive stroke. Everything happened so quickly and she unfortunately had to be life flighted and prepped for emergency surgery to remove a large blood clot from her brain. As my husband and I sat in the hospital waiting for her to come out of surgery, I remained in constant prayer. Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days and what was once a fun-filled, enjoyable night out for my husband and I, quickly turned into a nightmare.
As I type today’s post, we are now just a few days removed from this event, yet our hearts are so thankful to God for healing. God was with my mother-in-law in so many ways that night, and the fact that she’s still able to walk, talk, and remember everything is such a blessing. I’ve personally never seen anyone recover as quickly as she has. Doctors and nurses are all shocked about how well she is doing, but at the core of it all, we know that this is only possible because of the mighty hand of God. We could have lost my mother-in-law that night, but God saw otherwise, and for that we are eternally grateful.
As she now embarks on her journey to rehabilitation, my prayer is that God would continue to shine his light upon her, bring forth supernatural healing, and an abundance of love, peace and comfort in the midst of this trial. We are so thankful and grateful to God to still have her here with us, and are in constant prayer for continual progress.
For anyone who has recently had a loved one fall sick or become impaired due to a tragic accident, my prayers are with you. To those who have recently lost a loved one, my prayers are also with you. May God grant you comfort and strength during this difficult season.
In closing, I want to thank those of you who have been rocking with me since the very beginning of this blogging journey, and to every new reader here, thank you as well! My heart overflows with joy and genuine love for each of you. May God continue to pour out His love, grace and mercy upon you, and may you receive each of these beautiful gifts from above, knowing that His love for you runs deeper than any ocean and higher than any mountain. I love you all.
Until next time,
Amari E.